It's been awhile...

Happy Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving 2011....another holiday in the desert. 30 days until Christmas and I'm sitting here in a t-shirt as I write this. Some people may love that - I find it....not holiday spirit-ish?
Seems to me that all I do is on here is complain. But it's a place for me to get my feelings out right?

I'm not all negative. I am very thankful for everything in my life. The new friends that I've made, my loving husband, my family and my friends far away. I don't know what I would do w/o them. Especially my new friends here in mini Mexico. We take care of each other - and I feel as though I can finally say that if God forbid anything happened to me, that I would get taken care of.
I'm so thankful for our marriage. I hear so many people getting divorced at our age, and it makes me so sad to think that some of my close friends are going through that. So for that, I am thankful for Cody.
Sometimes it's weird to think that we were once in elementary school together in the days of cooties. And now we're married and share a bed. But without him - I would not get to challenge myself everyday in a new place, or go to places, or meet new people. Everything happens for a reason and I want to truly believe that this is my challenge in life. To be a military spouse. Never easy, but very rewarding.

So 2012...I will try to be more positive. Make our home where our heart is. Be more productive. And be grateful for everything / everyone in my life.

movin on up?

moving on out is what i wish this post was about....

still in hell paso aka mexico. living one day at a time....that's the best i can do right?

well let's see, the wedding is now done-zo. i have the most amazing family and friends in the world. well let's say my immediate family. i could've done w/o the extended. it all went by too fast, and i wish i can do it all over again. it was so good to have most of the people that i love all in one room. i miss them already so much.

i started a job. finally. before the wedding i got a job at a call center just to get out of the house. call centers, as i have learned before. is. not. for. me. they did have a hr position opening, but that was going nowhere, and then the temp agency finally called me back with the offer for the government position. it's been about a month, and i'm already bored with it. it really makes me wonder will i EVER be happy with what i do? i just feel like i'm the bitch in the office, just doing whatever someone tells me to do. if that was the case, i'd rather be an assistant somewhere. i was hoping this job would get me in the system and help me w/ future positions, but i guess we'll have to see about that. for now, i'm trying so hard to be grateful for what i have, and to keep reminding myself that this is 100% better then what my previous situation was. i do love that my days go by fast and that weekends come quick. right now cody is away at a training for a month and as much as i HATE having him being away i do like that i'm more productive and i'm getting things done. i feel as though i have gotten SO lazy that i'm starting to annoy myself. time to get things done, and get back in shape. chin up, life is how you live it....

money can't buy you love...

but no money can certainly bring you pain....and suffering.

i feel as though me not working has so much affect on not only my emotional state of mind, but our bank account.
i feel like screaming and saying that this wedding was a bad idea, and that i don't want to do it anymore. WHERE are we going to get the money for all of this?

more and more...i'm feeling useless.....

2011...

Happy New Year.
Here's to a new year, with new opportunities, and new adventures....right?
Well then why am I sitting here on the very first day of the year by myself, feeling like crap.
Ugh, I try so hard not to be so negative, but I can't help but be annoyed when I feel like I'm stuck here...in this bubble of TX.....is this really my life? To feel lonely on the very first day of the year? Next week I'm going to CT....I can't wait to get out of here and be released for awhile.
I HATE HATE HATE that I rely so much on Cody for my 'entertainment'....I used to be so independent, and so good at being on my own. Now? I can't do anything unless he's there? WHO am I?! I want to say that things will get better once I get a job....but is that REALLY my problem? I think it has partly to do with it....but what if I'm still feeling like this after getting a job....what if.....
I wish someone can take my brain apart and analyze it....because I really do not understand what is going on with me.

I keep having weird weird dreams....
More then once I had a dream that involved me having to beat the bugs away from me.....
I just googled it...and this is what it says:

To see a bug in your dream, suggests that you are worried about something. It is symbolic of your anxieties and/or fears. What is literally bugging you? Consider also the popular phrase "bitten by the bug" to imply your strong emotional ties or involvement to some activity/interest/hobby. Alternatively, the bug may be representative of your sexual thoughts.

What in the world?!