but no money can certainly bring you pain....and suffering.
i feel as though me not working has so much affect on not only my emotional state of mind, but our bank account.
i feel like screaming and saying that this wedding was a bad idea, and that i don't want to do it anymore. WHERE are we going to get the money for all of this?
more and more...i'm feeling useless.....
Monday, January 10, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2011...
Happy New Year.
Here's to a new year, with new opportunities, and new adventures....right?
Well then why am I sitting here on the very first day of the year by myself, feeling like crap.
Ugh, I try so hard not to be so negative, but I can't help but be annoyed when I feel like I'm stuck here...in this bubble of TX.....is this really my life? To feel lonely on the very first day of the year? Next week I'm going to CT....I can't wait to get out of here and be released for awhile.
I HATE HATE HATE that I rely so much on Cody for my 'entertainment'....I used to be so independent, and so good at being on my own. Now? I can't do anything unless he's there? WHO am I?! I want to say that things will get better once I get a job....but is that REALLY my problem? I think it has partly to do with it....but what if I'm still feeling like this after getting a job....what if.....
I wish someone can take my brain apart and analyze it....because I really do not understand what is going on with me.
I keep having weird weird dreams....
More then once I had a dream that involved me having to beat the bugs away from me.....
I just googled it...and this is what it says:
To see a bug in your dream, suggests that you are worried about something. It is symbolic of your anxieties and/or fears. What is literally bugging you? Consider also the popular phrase "bitten by the bug" to imply your strong emotional ties or involvement to some activity/interest/hobby. Alternatively, the bug may be representative of your sexual thoughts.
What in the world?!
Here's to a new year, with new opportunities, and new adventures....right?
Well then why am I sitting here on the very first day of the year by myself, feeling like crap.
Ugh, I try so hard not to be so negative, but I can't help but be annoyed when I feel like I'm stuck here...in this bubble of TX.....is this really my life? To feel lonely on the very first day of the year? Next week I'm going to CT....I can't wait to get out of here and be released for awhile.
I HATE HATE HATE that I rely so much on Cody for my 'entertainment'....I used to be so independent, and so good at being on my own. Now? I can't do anything unless he's there? WHO am I?! I want to say that things will get better once I get a job....but is that REALLY my problem? I think it has partly to do with it....but what if I'm still feeling like this after getting a job....what if.....
I wish someone can take my brain apart and analyze it....because I really do not understand what is going on with me.
I keep having weird weird dreams....
More then once I had a dream that involved me having to beat the bugs away from me.....
I just googled it...and this is what it says:
To see a bug in your dream, suggests that you are worried about something. It is symbolic of your anxieties and/or fears. What is literally bugging you? Consider also the popular phrase "bitten by the bug" to imply your strong emotional ties or involvement to some activity/interest/hobby. Alternatively, the bug may be representative of your sexual thoughts.
What in the world?!
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