And so it begins...

Here I am...blogging again. For who? I have no idea. I suppose this is one way for me to get my feelings out....or something like that.

So it's been a year since Cody and I have been married, and moved to TN.
It's been a rough year, but definitely a year that has made me learn, and be patient. I don't know if I've become more patient (heck, I can use all the patience that I can get) but I've learned a lot.
Marriage life is great, having someone to go home to everyday is fabulous, and I can't imagine my life without him.

So one year after Cody has left the Army....we have decided that he is going to go back to the Air Force. It was not an easy decision for me...but I can't help but think that this is the change that needs to be made.
As much as we love being in the 'newlywed' moment...we both hate our jobs, and something has to change.

So the Air Force...I have always been proud of Cody and makes me smile everytime I see a soldier in uniform...but I never thought that I would end up a military wife. I want to stand behind him and be there for him through it all, but I can't help but think of myself, and call me selfish but about how I will be left alone.

My fear: being alone. Being here in TN...hasn't been all happy go lucky...I've spent a lot of time by myself....sitting on the couch, crying myself to sleep, taking melatonin to fall asleep....
so to go from that to a military life? Makes me....wonder?

I just hate being alone...I feel as though I have some sort of separation anxiety...don't know if it's left over from the 15 month deployment that we went through...or missing my family and friends back home...I just hate to be alone.

So the thought of military life, and deployments makes me want to cry every time....
So why make the decision to go into it?

Well....'I'd rather be in his world, then not have him in mine'.....and that's all there is to it.

I'm so homesick...I miss my family and friends. I know that if we were to even move back, that things will not be the same. Most of my friends are not there anymore, and well, I've always wanted to be out of Torrington. But most of all - I miss my family. I miss my mom. I always think about when I'll get pregnant, and she won't be around throughout my pregnancy....again, makes me cry everytime. He'll never understand that bond between mother and daughter....ah....I wish I can just move my parents to wherever we may end up.

Well...that's that....back to the military life it is. I will stand behind my man, and be supportive.